It is through our trial's that we learn of Christ

I was thinking the other day about how Heavenly Father does not give us more than we can handle . Over the past year there have been so many day's that I could not get out of bed. I think I stayed in bed for three days just after he left. As I look back over the last year I can see how Heavenly Father has blessed my life. I was working away from home when he left , so going to work was one of the hardest things I ever had to do . I am thankful that Justin and Tyler were so good to me when this happened . There were so many day's that I just had to get up and leave. Each time they told me they understood , and would be there to support me. As time went on it got harder and harder to go to work. I prayed each day and every night that I could work from home so I could be with my kid's. I went to church one sunday and walked into sunday school and there sat Brother Walker-( ward employment specialist ) . I asked him as he was walking out if he knew of any jobs that I  could work from home. He said "No" he never gets anything like that. I asked him to keep me in mind if he hears of anything, he said he would. I sat down , and a couple minutes later he calls me out of class. "I think I have something for you, I'll let you know "....  2 days later I got a call asking if I would go with the Elder's and Vicky to teach a lady about the gospel...What a powerful experience that was. I sat in that room as the Elders asked her to pray that night about being baptized. My overwheling thought was how incredible this gospel is , that we are called to action, to pray and to know for ourselves the truthfulness of the gospel. I was humbled to see and to hear the servants of the Lord ask this sister to come unto Christ and enjoy the blessings of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. As I left her home that night Vicky asked me if I would come talk to her husband about a job...I didn't want to go bug someone about a job at 9:30 at night. I said "no , I will come over this week though and see him".  As I drove down my street I knew that I should turn around and go see him...it's late, what If I'm not what he want's...all the crazy stuff that goes thru your head. Again I knew that I should turn back and go see him. I talked to him that night and he said he would talk to his partner. A few day's later what would turn out to be one of the most amazing men I have ever met would offer me a job . And I got to be home with my kids. I  know that heavely father know's what we need and is there to bless our lives.  I know people come into our lives for certain reasons .It is up to us to be ready .     For those whom the Lord has sent , will ALWAY'S show up on time .   It is up to us to be at the crossroad to meet them  .  I am greatful he sent whom he did to meet me on that path .  I Love the gospel and despite the trials in my life , I still believe that Families Are Forever , and thru this knowledge I am blessed with a Wonderfiul Life.

Have I taught them?

Wow , what an eternal blessing, to have 3 wonderful kids . I am Humbled to have the great call of being their Mother . I am Humbled by their sweet spirits that teach me truth in my life . Sometime as parents I think we look at our children when they are grown and hope and pray we have taught them enough , and often I believe they teach us . I believe they bring into our lives some of the sweetest tender mercies of the Lord . The Lord has said that unless we become as a child we shall not enter into the Kingdom of God . I believe that as we allow ourselves to learn from them we can become like them. I love the humbleness of their hearts . I love being a Mom ! I shared my testimony with Baxter and what a cute boy he was to share his with me . These are the moments we live for . I have always had a special place in my heart for those who are not as fortunate as most all of us are . I have always tried to teach my kids that the Lord has not asked us, but has commanded us to help those in need . Have I taught them to love and to serve one another? Have I taught them what the Lord want's them to know ? Over the past month or so we have a homeless man that we go looking for at night to take him dinner , hopefully he was ok with my cooking , and with the cooks at McDonalds , Filaberto's , Jack In The Box , Burgerking and so on....We loved taking him dinner . He was so excited to see us(usually me and Baxter) each time we came he would ask "For me?"  I came home one night and said  "I can not find our homeless man?"  (yes I feel bad I don't know his name)  Kustome said "don't worry Mom  , I already took him food".  That was the last time we saw him . I am so grateful and feel blessed to have children who will serve other's . I am humbled by those who are in my life that continue to show service in all that they do . What greater gift can we give to another than to serve them .I am grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ which allows me to have , This Wonderful Life.

I just wanted to tell you I love you

Mom was gone...my sisters gone...my brothers where not there. I was alone.
"I am going to go check on dad" was all I could seem to say...I wasn't feeling good that day and Rob told me "no, you need to take a nap, and then you can go check on your dad".I was pregnant with Breck and was having a hard time for some reason so I decided I would take a nap. When I woke up I seemed to float down the stairs, not really feeling like I was there, It was hard to breath, the room seemed like the fog had rolled in. I could not get out of the house fast enough. as I drove to mom and dad's I said a prayer on the way. I asked "please just let me tell him I love him"...I didn't know why I was feeling the way I was , I just knew I wanted him to know I loved him. As I drove up to the house the front light was still on. I went to go inside and the door was locked. I prayed that he just wasn't there , I wanted him to still be at work. I walked thru the back gate and went to his open window where I looked in. oh, there you are I thought. He lay in his bed as still as could be, he had a smile on his face. I said "dad you scared me".He never said a word..."dad".."dad".."Dad! listen to me"! He wasn't going to answer me back. But I needed him to...I yelled as loud as I could "DAD".."I need to tell you I love you". I ran to the neighbors and told her "go inside and get my dad" she went to the window and and went inside. As she walked out the front door tears streamed down her face. "your dad is gone", she said.How could he be gone? He told me to come over , he was supposed to be there...And now how was I ever going to let him know that I loved him? I sat outside their house and waited for the paramedics to come, I couldn't go inside. There I was, all alone. Why did he have to leave?  Every girl needs their dad. We need to know they love us, and most especially we want them to know we love them. I never got to tell him that day I loved him. Time has passed and I love him more . I am grateful for the things he taught me. I am grateful that I will see him again. I do know he heard me that day. I know when I thought I was all alone he was there. I know Families are Forever. I am grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ that allows me to have this Wonderful Life

Choose Thy Love, Love Thy Choice

What a powerful statement, "Choose Thy Love, Love Thy Choice"~ President Gordon B. Hinkley. As I look back at the last 22 years of my life I felt an overwhelming thought of how did I make it this far? It only takes a moment to know that it is with the Lords help that we get thru each day, each week, each month, each year. This is how I made it, and I will continue to make it with his help. I want to remember the trials of my life, I want to remember the emotions I felt. I want to remember the laughter, the tears and everything in between. Not to feel sorry for my self but to remember the blessings that follow the trials. I married Rob June 1st 1989 . Life was about to begin. I did choose my love, and I did love my choice. I always have and I hope I always will. My thoughts that day were I knew he would love me Forever. I just knew it! What I didn't know is that life would be hard , some times so hard I didnt want to be here. What a blessing it was to be so in love that I couldn't have possibly thought it would be any different . I can look back over the years with regrets or I can look back and see a girl that through all her trials still did have a Wonderful Life.