Wouldn't change a thing

Life is nothing short of CRAZY...but I wouldn't have it any other way.   I went out with friends last night and we were talking about some of the crazy fun things that have happened in our lives.   I do not know if I have ever laughed so hard in my life......Just some of my craziness.....Don't ever let your Mom help you with a T. P.  job unless she is a pro.....Back in the day we were TP'ing the Chapman's ( Mark and Telford's ) my mom of course was our get away driver.....because when you are in the 9th grade you still have to have a "get away driver".   We wanted to put shredded paper all over the lawn but she insisted we just crumble it..... well that would have been ok, unless of course you are using the "church news" which has a sticker on the front of who's name it is...clearly a bad idea !!!!!   I on the other hand , became a real PRO with my kids , thanks to Becky Webb who showed me the art of TP' ing years ago.   Don't go doorbell ditching at 2 am unless you know for a fact you will not get caught.....telling the neighbor you were just wanting to borrow a cup of sugar at 2 am sends up all kinds of red flags!!!   Don't steal street signs of boys you like.....or at least if you do make sure they are not in your car when you get pulled over...hard to explain your way out , but it can be done!!!  Make sure when you grab your husbands hand and start to run.....that you have a hold of your husband and not some random guy that apparently doesn't mind running with a strange chic.....my bad!!!  When you decide to play an All Time Great April Fools day joke on your boss.....( That his building is being seized for back taxes ) ....... let him in on the joke BEFORE he gets so sick..that he gets the "runs"  haha....so funny!!!! he might have even cried!!! sorry Justin !   Do though ,  have the time of your life and laugh often.  Michael Pritchard said " You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing "....( I guess I will never grow old )  My life gets crazy at times , but I would not change my crazy for any one's boring.....if I did ,  how could I possibly have ever had such a WONDERFUL LIFE!

Friends...It's the connection that counts

I went to dinner the other night with Shirley ,  one of my greatest friends ever. She is one of the Allen's from Lehi...(I Love, Love her family. People don't get much better than the Allen's!!)  We went to PF Changs...or so we thought! We are just chatting away , we walk in and are seated. Still just talking and talking (because that's what girls do best) she said "thats weird....they have spinach artichoke dip...should we get that?" Of course we should !...We ordered our drinks...and just continue to talk away. Every once in a while we would look at the menu and then get side tracked and start talking again. Eventually she said do you know what you are going to order? I start to look at the menu again ...hmmm this is weird I'm thinking...pizza ..pasta..I said "where are we?" We both turn to the front of our menus and realize we are not in Changs!!! we laughed so hard we cried! I went and told the bar tender, we were in the wrong place and to please tell the girl we were not staying. we grab our bags and got the heck out of there....I thought we were going to pee our pants we were laughing so hard. I felt like we were doing a dine and dash...except for the dine part! We walk across the parking lot and go to PF Changs, how did we not know we were in the wrong place...how did we miss the humongous, over-sized ,ginormous, mammoth  horse! I say its not because we were talking..because that comes naturally for most of us girls, but rather the fact that when you are with friends nothing else around matters. Friends are people you share your life with..the ups the downs and everything that comes in between. They don't judge you, they accept you for who you are..where you have been , and where you are going. I learned from a friend recently that we often are worried more about perfection...than connection. What good is perfection...if we never make a connection with someone? If we are always trying to put up a front so we don't let anyone really know who we are,  how would they possibly connect with us? If we don't ask questions how can we possible learn who someone is? This is what makes "real" friends one of the greatest gifts in life, they let you know who they are, where they have been and where they are headed,  and they never expect perfection from you. I have been blessed in my life to have some of the greatest friends ever. I am so grateful to have friends that when you talk , you pick up right where you left off the last time you saw them, and you never have to worry about perfection. I am grateful to have friends that are so fun to talk to and spend time with....that when you are with them you never really know what is going on around you! I love that I have been blessed with such a WONDERFUL LIFE!!!

Mom's...gotta love em'

Had a Girls Spa Day with my mom...Mani's, Pedi's, Massage, and....of course had to get the eyebrows done...When they asked who wanted their brows waxed before I said anything, the girl said 1...or both? I said just one (meaning my mom) my mom looked at me with a puzzled look and said to the girl..."NO I want 2"...she then turned to me and said "I don't just want one brow done , I would like them both done!" OH MY HECK...old people are just like little kids..did she really just think they would wax one brow and send you out in the world like that!!!LOL ...I love her! I am so thankful to have had good parents, I wish my dad was still here, I would love to see what he would have been like as he got older. One of the greatest gifts a dad can give to his children is to show them he loved their mother. I am thankful that my dad loved my mom, and that she loved him. I am grateful that I know I will see him again someday , and that Families can be together again. I truly do have a WONDERFUL LIFE!!!!

White shirts and Ties...Fathers and sons...love it!

I love love girls night out...but my favorite are the ones we do the night the men have Priesthood. This year was kind of different because Breck wasn't  here..so bitter sweet were my thoughts. There is nothing more humbling than seeing all the dads out with their son's. That is what makes this girls night one of the best. I love that we see this twice a year. This year we were in Gilbert, instead of Queen Creek...most of the girls were from Gilbert, so they won! and Red Robin it was. So fun to have good friends to laugh with and share life with. I am grateful we have the gospel that brings us together. I am in awe to simply see these men who chose to go and listen to our Prophet. I have often wondered if they ever know how much it means to the women, that they go. This year is different in so many ways, all of the kids are in Utah spending time with their dad. I had no white shirts to iron, no suits to pick up from the cleaners..no collars to straighten...no white shirts or ties. I am grateful though for all the years that I did get to iron the shirts, and straighten the ties, because those moments truly were part of my WONDERFUL LIFE. 

The luckiest girl ever....

I feel so blessed in my life to have what I have...I am so grateful for my 3 precious kids! I don't know what I would do if at the end of the day, I didn't have them. I am more than blessed to work for the man I do..often I wonder what did I do to deserve such a great guy in my life. I would not have made it through this past year with out him...I tell him all the time he is stuck with me for life!! It humbles me to see what the Lord has blessed me with ..great friends and a great family..and people who came in to my life , just when I need them. I was thinking the other day how easy it is to choose to see the good in your life.  To recognize the Lords hand in all things can give you  strength beyond what you can ever imagine. As difficult as this trial is ..there are so many good things to see from it. We had a long life together..we have a ton of good.. fun..crazy.. unforgettable memories. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan... a plan that will someday make me smile, it's just getting there that is so tough. Sometimes I guess we have to go through these trials to learn and grow. I am so grateful that as i trust in the Lord that i find strength to do what I need to do, and I am grateful for my kids that bless each day of my life, it because of them that I can say to my self....You really do...have a WONDERFUL LIFE .

To Move Forward

I never in my life thought I would be at the crossroad I am today. I feel like 22 years of my life is just gone in a second. It feels like a fire swept though your house and when you go back to see the damage there is nothing!  I feel like on the outside looking in and there is nothing left, but the ashes of what once was. At the end of the day I look back and think of all the things I wish I would have done differently. I wish I could take all the heartache out of this. I remember when my dad died and the sense of lonliness I felt.  I knew I would see him again someday. This is the end of something that was supposed to go on forever, Its an overwhelming feeling sadness. I feel like we failed in what we promised we would do, and that was to keep a family together forever.  I feel like he gave up on us, he gave up on something that should have been forever. While this has nothing to do with the kids, there are part of who we are. And when he left , he didnt just leave me...he left the kids. He has left us over and over , each time it is harder to get through than the time before. I know I need to be strong for the kids, but this time I just want to give up. There is no fight left. It hurts more than anything in the worl to see your kids hurt , especially for the selfishness of their parents. I pray the lord will strengthen us as we move forward , that we can forgive him and allow him to have his agency that the Lord has blessed each one of us with. I am grateful for the atonement, for our agency to choose, and for the tender mercies of the Lord that we may find joy in this WONDERFUL LIFE .  

Batter Up!!!!

Today has caused me to really think about where I am going .  I am so truly blessed to have people in my life that help me and encourage me on my way .  I pray that I may be able to do the same for others .  What is my " blueprint " ?  Is the foundation strong and secure ?  What do I need to do to anchor myself ,  make sure I am strong , secure , and moving forward ?  If we are not moving forward will not achieve the things we want .  Whether  it be spiritual , emotional , financial , physical we must move forward . I believe that when we are what the world says " in the right place at the right time " ,  we are really just showing up on time to receive the blessings that were intended for us .  I believe God wants us to come to him with a plan , a plan that has a foundation , strong walls and roof for protection . He wants to know of our desires big and small . He is waiting for us to lay the blueprint out , to let him know of our intentions and then to take action . I believe that as we ask with humble hearts , and gratitude for the blessings we have been given , he will bless us more than we can possibly imagine .  If we live and make decisions where we want to be ,  rather than where we are at , doors will open , blessings will be manifested , and gratitude will be present .  A baseball player steps up to the plate , swings ,  hits a home run , get on base , or strikes out and goes back to the bench .  Either way , the player steps back up to the plate again and again throughout  his career ,  he does not give up. This is what makes life so wonderful... we can come to the plate again and again , if we strike out , we have not failed .  We simply must redirect ourselves and swing again .  Hank Aaron went 0 for 5 his first time at bat with the Milwaukee Braves. And we all know Babe Ruth is famous for his home run record, but for a long time he held the record for the most strike outs. He hit 714 home runs ,  but he had 1330 strike outs in his career, by which he said " every strike brings me closer to the next home run" . So the key is to not focus on our strikeouts but rather on the next home run. Playing in this game called life , we can strike out , and come back to the plate to get that home run and be grateful to live , this WONDERFUL LIFE !

BELIEVE

When do we stop believing....in things , in people , in ourselves ?  Why are children so eager to believe , but as we get older it sometimes seems impossible to believe ?  I am thinking in anyone has ever stopped believing in themselves it would be me .  When you do a Google search for the word " non-believer " , yeah... you guessed it ...my picture ! A few days ago someone said to me " Take confidence in who you are and what you can do ,  I believe in you. " . The words " I Believe in You "  ring so loud , and so powerful . So powerful they can cause change in us .  E.E. Cummings said  " We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable , worth listening to , worthy of trust , sacred to our touch . Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity , wonder , spontaneous delight or any other experience that reveals the human spirit "  .  I believe That people come in our lives for reasons and not just by chance  .  I believe that sometimes they act as the messenger . The messenger that gives you that glimpse of  who you are ,  and what you are capable of , so that we might know our divine purpose .  I believe we came to this earth , each of us with a divine purpose and a belief  . Somewhere along the journey some of us lose that belief  . We buy in to the lie that we are of no worth , and we lose the spark , the belief, the knowing who we are . Sometimes we just need to hear ,  four simple words  " I Believe In You "  to be able to reach deep inside ourselves and find that core belief and to know we are here with a purpose .  God wants us to believe in ourselves . He wants us to be happy and to succeed in all that we do .  He wants us to help one another along this great journey called LIFE ! Here once again we face the truth ,  the truth that we MUST believe in ourselves , even if we think no one else does . But what a blessing it is to know that someone believes in you . It amazes me to think ,  and more importantly to know that we are all sent here with purpose , That we matter and that we are of worth., divine worth . We need to believe in ourselves and to believe in one another , and to know we are able to create  an absolute WONDERFUL LIFE .

To live with a Purpose

How do we know what our purpose is ?  I have asked myself this to many times to count .  What is my purpose ?  What does God want me to do while I'm on this journey ?  I know my journey was to Love , Serve , Learn , and to Laugh !  I believe that our core purpose never changes . But I believe there are many other things that come in to our life and cause us to live with purpose .  I believe our trials cause us to have purpose .  I believe Humility gives us purpose .  I love to serve with purpose and I will find any reason I can to Laugh !  Tonight I got to see old friends that I have not seen a while .  I LOVE LOVE the Petersen's . But then who doesn't love the Petersen's ! I could talk to Becky for hour's .  And what I love most about her is she makes me laugh !  This is one of my most favorite fun times . We went over to Coronado Island with the Petersen's one summer , one never to forget ! Fun time driving over there...me and Alicia and some of the kids in one suburban and Kevin and Becky in another suburban . We drove at night so when we got to Coronado I had no clue ....and I mean no clue as to the size of the bridge !  It would be the next day when I realized what we had come over on !!  Kevin left the next day ( i think) maybe the second day...He and Rob were both going to fly back over at the end of the week . Not long after getting on to the Island , we pulled up to this mini mansion that Kevin rented for a few weeks. This was a Victorian Home , Beautiful inside and out. But what was to come would make us laugh for the rest of our lives !!  Just NOT during the time we were there. We walked inside and passed thru the  "parlor"  (can I just say Scary!!)  the fire place was grand, but the 2 portraits that hung on both sides were not !  Oh yes they were grand in size and that was it ! One was a painting of a older man and the other was a painting of an older woman .  Yes you got it ...their EYES would follow you as you walked by !  That should have been a clue as what was to come . We walked up the stair case and started choosing bedrooms. Oh the infamous  "wood Room" !! SCARY!!!  Kevin and Becky went into the Master suite and me and all the kids went exploring who was going to go where . We went into one room ,  and i think the girls said they would sleep there . We went into the next room and I said me and the 2 little kids would sleep here...them we passed thru the bathroom to get to the WOOD ROOM!!! floor to ceiling wood paneling . It was dark and it was so far beyond scary !!!  We all ran out , locked the door ,  ran thru the bathroom which led in to our room and then out the door , down the stairs ! Yes it was HAUNTED! We were convinced .  Kevin I think tried to calm us all down but I don't think we did for a bit . So we go to bed and I promise you I never slept that night... I prayed all night long till the sun came up ! SERIOUS!!!  It was like someone was watching you sleep !! That is why , I took the liberty to PRAY my guts out, and never come out from the covers!!  So Kevin leaves the next day.... you got it just me and Becky and all the kids...ALONE  in a haunted house !  That night the kids moved a piece of furniture away from the wall....and what do you think was behind the hutch...yep, a DOOR!!! I kid you not !!  Not just a closet door, NO, it was a door with a long stair case that lead you Down to a cellar ! not a wine cellar, not a cool basement ...no it was a scary cellar, dark and scary !!  Now , there is no question , we are in for one heck of a week... and did I mention,  WE ARE ALONE!!! ...to crazy chic's with a bunch of kids in a haunted mansion ! Bryce I think was the one who went down the stairway ? Could have been Adam or Kustome...I think Tanner was just as scared as all us girls .  One small detail I failed to mention ,  when you walk in you pass thru the parlor ,  huge black and while tile floor . Come to think of it ...the floor was similar to the checkered floor in the clue game!!! aahhh no wonder ,  this place was so , so Haunted !  It had a huge grandfather clock inside the parlor and each time Becky or I would pass by thee clock it would chime! One night me and Becky were standing at the top of the stairway and we heard a baby cry all of the sudden all the kids were running up the stairway...they heard it too!!!! Yes ,  we were officially in a haunted mansion!!  And we had to stay there for 2 more day's with out the guy's . How could we add more excitement you wonder ? I am sure it was a sight to see us go on and off the Island we would hold up traffic as we drove probably 10 miles an hour over the bridge , white knuckled and I do believe we shed a few tears as we would have to drive over the bridge ( to big to high) we were like Lucy and Ethel , with a 9 little tag~ a~ longs ! I love the memories we make especially when we laugh . I can not Imagine life with out laughter and friends.  I love that we can live our lives with purpose, and that we can find new purpose each day.  I am so so grateful to have so much fun in life ,  and to have friends to laugh with . This really is a Wonderful Life !

Through It All

While today may be our last June 1st ,  life still has to move forward . I was thinking about 22 years ago . I had my wedding dress on , and he was in a white tux. .  As we walked up the stairs to be sealed ,  we stopped for a minute before we went in . He told me he loved me and wiped away my tears.  If you know me ,  you know I cry !  We walked into the sealing room and all our Family and friends were there . This was it , we were going to be together forever !  One of the greatest gift's God gives us is the Eternal Family .  I feel so blessed to have 3 wonderful kid's . I am so grateful for the happiness they have added to our Family . I think one of the hardest lessons I have had to learn was that we all are given agency . And that we are given this agency to choose , because our Father in Heaven loves us so much. Often times I have fought that idea and wanted to make him choose us , our Family , to choose me . I know all I can do though ,  is make my own choices . Thru all the heartache, the tears, the laughter, and the smiles ,  I still am so thankful I chose him . There is no one in the world I would rather have spent my life with than him  . I am grateful for all I have . I am  thankful that through trials we are blessed , and when we choose to see what we are truly blessed with ,  we can see...this really is a Wonderful Life 

It is through our trial's that we learn of Christ

I was thinking the other day about how Heavenly Father does not give us more than we can handle . Over the past year there have been so many day's that I could not get out of bed. I think I stayed in bed for three days just after he left. As I look back over the last year I can see how Heavenly Father has blessed my life. I was working away from home when he left , so going to work was one of the hardest things I ever had to do . I am thankful that Justin and Tyler were so good to me when this happened . There were so many day's that I just had to get up and leave. Each time they told me they understood , and would be there to support me. As time went on it got harder and harder to go to work. I prayed each day and every night that I could work from home so I could be with my kid's. I went to church one sunday and walked into sunday school and there sat Brother Walker-( ward employment specialist ) . I asked him as he was walking out if he knew of any jobs that I  could work from home. He said "No" he never gets anything like that. I asked him to keep me in mind if he hears of anything, he said he would. I sat down , and a couple minutes later he calls me out of class. "I think I have something for you, I'll let you know "....  2 days later I got a call asking if I would go with the Elder's and Vicky to teach a lady about the gospel...What a powerful experience that was. I sat in that room as the Elders asked her to pray that night about being baptized. My overwheling thought was how incredible this gospel is , that we are called to action, to pray and to know for ourselves the truthfulness of the gospel. I was humbled to see and to hear the servants of the Lord ask this sister to come unto Christ and enjoy the blessings of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. As I left her home that night Vicky asked me if I would come talk to her husband about a job...I didn't want to go bug someone about a job at 9:30 at night. I said "no , I will come over this week though and see him".  As I drove down my street I knew that I should turn around and go see him...it's late, what If I'm not what he want's...all the crazy stuff that goes thru your head. Again I knew that I should turn back and go see him. I talked to him that night and he said he would talk to his partner. A few day's later what would turn out to be one of the most amazing men I have ever met would offer me a job . And I got to be home with my kids. I  know that heavely father know's what we need and is there to bless our lives.  I know people come into our lives for certain reasons .It is up to us to be ready .     For those whom the Lord has sent , will ALWAY'S show up on time .   It is up to us to be at the crossroad to meet them  .  I am greatful he sent whom he did to meet me on that path .  I Love the gospel and despite the trials in my life , I still believe that Families Are Forever , and thru this knowledge I am blessed with a Wonderfiul Life.

Have I taught them?

Wow , what an eternal blessing, to have 3 wonderful kids . I am Humbled to have the great call of being their Mother . I am Humbled by their sweet spirits that teach me truth in my life . Sometime as parents I think we look at our children when they are grown and hope and pray we have taught them enough , and often I believe they teach us . I believe they bring into our lives some of the sweetest tender mercies of the Lord . The Lord has said that unless we become as a child we shall not enter into the Kingdom of God . I believe that as we allow ourselves to learn from them we can become like them. I love the humbleness of their hearts . I love being a Mom ! I shared my testimony with Baxter and what a cute boy he was to share his with me . These are the moments we live for . I have always had a special place in my heart for those who are not as fortunate as most all of us are . I have always tried to teach my kids that the Lord has not asked us, but has commanded us to help those in need . Have I taught them to love and to serve one another? Have I taught them what the Lord want's them to know ? Over the past month or so we have a homeless man that we go looking for at night to take him dinner , hopefully he was ok with my cooking , and with the cooks at McDonalds , Filaberto's , Jack In The Box , Burgerking and so on....We loved taking him dinner . He was so excited to see us(usually me and Baxter) each time we came he would ask "For me?"  I came home one night and said  "I can not find our homeless man?"  (yes I feel bad I don't know his name)  Kustome said "don't worry Mom  , I already took him food".  That was the last time we saw him . I am so grateful and feel blessed to have children who will serve other's . I am humbled by those who are in my life that continue to show service in all that they do . What greater gift can we give to another than to serve them .I am grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ which allows me to have , This Wonderful Life.

I just wanted to tell you I love you

Mom was gone...my sisters gone...my brothers where not there. I was alone.
"I am going to go check on dad" was all I could seem to say...I wasn't feeling good that day and Rob told me "no, you need to take a nap, and then you can go check on your dad".I was pregnant with Breck and was having a hard time for some reason so I decided I would take a nap. When I woke up I seemed to float down the stairs, not really feeling like I was there, It was hard to breath, the room seemed like the fog had rolled in. I could not get out of the house fast enough. as I drove to mom and dad's I said a prayer on the way. I asked "please just let me tell him I love him"...I didn't know why I was feeling the way I was , I just knew I wanted him to know I loved him. As I drove up to the house the front light was still on. I went to go inside and the door was locked. I prayed that he just wasn't there , I wanted him to still be at work. I walked thru the back gate and went to his open window where I looked in. oh, there you are I thought. He lay in his bed as still as could be, he had a smile on his face. I said "dad you scared me".He never said a word..."dad".."dad".."Dad! listen to me"! He wasn't going to answer me back. But I needed him to...I yelled as loud as I could "DAD".."I need to tell you I love you". I ran to the neighbors and told her "go inside and get my dad" she went to the window and and went inside. As she walked out the front door tears streamed down her face. "your dad is gone", she said.How could he be gone? He told me to come over , he was supposed to be there...And now how was I ever going to let him know that I loved him? I sat outside their house and waited for the paramedics to come, I couldn't go inside. There I was, all alone. Why did he have to leave?  Every girl needs their dad. We need to know they love us, and most especially we want them to know we love them. I never got to tell him that day I loved him. Time has passed and I love him more . I am grateful for the things he taught me. I am grateful that I will see him again. I do know he heard me that day. I know when I thought I was all alone he was there. I know Families are Forever. I am grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ that allows me to have this Wonderful Life

Choose Thy Love, Love Thy Choice

What a powerful statement, "Choose Thy Love, Love Thy Choice"~ President Gordon B. Hinkley. As I look back at the last 22 years of my life I felt an overwhelming thought of how did I make it this far? It only takes a moment to know that it is with the Lords help that we get thru each day, each week, each month, each year. This is how I made it, and I will continue to make it with his help. I want to remember the trials of my life, I want to remember the emotions I felt. I want to remember the laughter, the tears and everything in between. Not to feel sorry for my self but to remember the blessings that follow the trials. I married Rob June 1st 1989 . Life was about to begin. I did choose my love, and I did love my choice. I always have and I hope I always will. My thoughts that day were I knew he would love me Forever. I just knew it! What I didn't know is that life would be hard , some times so hard I didnt want to be here. What a blessing it was to be so in love that I couldn't have possibly thought it would be any different . I can look back over the years with regrets or I can look back and see a girl that through all her trials still did have a Wonderful Life.